I'm Fed the F*** UP

You know, I know there are so many people out there who are going through really bad pregnancies.

I'm not one of them. My little baby has been chugging along with absolutely no issues. To that, I might add, I have been mostly fine. Aside from a tiny bit of nausea here and there, and what I now know were dehydration headaches, I've been great.

But one thing that is really pissing me off is the lack of support I'm getting from my mom.

I realize that she's 8000 miles and 8 time zones away, but I'm not talking about physical support. I need emotional support. And not even the cry-on-your-shoulder kind either. Just a little check in here and there.

Mom has been really hard to please this whole pregnancy. First she got angry because we wanted to wait until Christmas day to find out what the sex of the baby will be. She was angry because she'd miss all the baby sales!!! Are you fucking kidding me? I didn't respond with are you fucking kidding, I simply said she could buy gender neutral clothes and put a smiley face after it.

Now she's mad because my husband was going away on a trip (which he isn't now) and might have missed the birth if I went in labor 2 weeks early. She's mad because she wanted to suddenly rush out here and be by my side.

We don't have the space for her to be here right now. Plus, if she's going to spend all that fucking money, it should be to see her grandchild - not to sit around looking at me secretly hoping that I'll go into labor so the flight wouldn't be for nothin.

I just don't understand these attitudes. One could say that it's out of love, but I believe it's out of selfishness. It's out of needing to be needed and feeling rejected. It's about not knowing how to manage her fucking emotions and lashing out like a goddamn kid.

I'm so fucking fed up I'm about ready to sever all ties for a while.

xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Puberty Updates

I'm loving this time of my pregnancy. It's when everyone can actually see I'm pregnant and not just fat. HA! Also the baby is moving around like crazy. I love that he or she is active all day and seems to have a strong case of the hiccups. I took the glucose resistance test a few days ago and ever since it seems like my little one has had the hiccups. Weird! I'm starting to notice bodily changes more now. For example, my boobs are starting to show strong veins. Not colored ones, just one here or there that looks like I lift weights. I wonder if those are the ducts or whatever that will deliver the milk? I'm also seeing super strong veins on my wrists. My hands have started to feel like I have some sort of arthritis. I crack my knuckles every 10 minutes or so and I have done for many many years. But now it hurts when I do it. Or I should say it feels sore, it doesn't hurt at all. My fingers just feel really really stiff. It's hard to fall asle...
Read more

Post-Preggo Body Nightmares

Just before sitting down to write this, my hubby and I were discussing my future body. Really we were talking about my current body. "Your boobs are enormous." "Yeah, I was thinking that today. I'm really worried what they're gonna look like after children." "Well, you're not gonna have your boobs out anyway, right? So just buy nice bras." Ugh. I hate this idea that once you have children you're going to turn into some repulsive troll who wears trash bags for clothes. No thanks. I told my husband this and his response was my boobs aren't going to matter in the grand scheme of things. Life will be so fulfilling that things like how your boobs look will seem trivial. Pfff. I disagree. I very much enjoy looking good. I don't see a future where I don't try my best to pull myself together. Sure, I won't be wearing skimpy outfits, because I never have, but I'll still want to look extra sexy now and then...
Read more

35 Weeks Pregnant (and two days)

So it has happened again! I've gone a full week without updating this blog. I'm not sure what is happening with me other than I'm trying to deny the fact that birth is just around the corner. I'm in a sour mood today but more on that later. So I've made it to 35 weeks. I still feel wonderful. No issues with my health or body. I have the same pressure on my pubic bone that I've had for the last ten weeks, so nothing to report there. The baby is moving all day and night which means it's healthy and happy. Moving while I write this as a matter of fact. And now, the movements are so strong they jolt my whole body. It's amazing that in only 2 weeks I could become a mom. Sometimes that thought depresses, or maybe a better word is saddens, me. I'm not exactly sure why it makes me sad, but it does. Perhaps all the anxieties of being a mom and being a good mom make me doubt my abilities. Further, I don't have good friends here. For some reason t...
Read more