Death
I think about death almost every day. I don't know when exactly it started, but I've always been terrified of dying.
I'm almost positive it was some sort of fear that was passed down from my mom. She, too, is shaken by the idea of death.
I remember her making irrational statements about the things I did and attributing the possibility of death as the reason for her concern.
I suppose that ideology grew on me in some way.
My fear of death hasn't stopped me from doing anything, rather, it's just something that I daydream about. I often hear myself saying things like "What if this car hits me and I die? What if this plane falls outta the sky?"
It's really frustrating because nothing can really cure me of this fear. They say the best thing to do when you're afraid of something is to face it head on, and erm, I'm afraid I can't really do that.
Unfortunately, this fear has now extended to my baby. I worry - even at 18 months - that I might miscarry. I wonder if the baby will die because of something I ate, or how I slept, or my lack of exercise.
Every time I go to the bathroom I get a little nervous that I might see blood on the toilet paper.
It's ridiculous and exhausting and I really wish I could just stop thinking about death, but it just consumes me.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
I'm almost positive it was some sort of fear that was passed down from my mom. She, too, is shaken by the idea of death.
I remember her making irrational statements about the things I did and attributing the possibility of death as the reason for her concern.
I suppose that ideology grew on me in some way.
My fear of death hasn't stopped me from doing anything, rather, it's just something that I daydream about. I often hear myself saying things like "What if this car hits me and I die? What if this plane falls outta the sky?"
It's really frustrating because nothing can really cure me of this fear. They say the best thing to do when you're afraid of something is to face it head on, and erm, I'm afraid I can't really do that.
Unfortunately, this fear has now extended to my baby. I worry - even at 18 months - that I might miscarry. I wonder if the baby will die because of something I ate, or how I slept, or my lack of exercise.
Every time I go to the bathroom I get a little nervous that I might see blood on the toilet paper.
It's ridiculous and exhausting and I really wish I could just stop thinking about death, but it just consumes me.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
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