15 Weeks Pregnant

Ah yes, the big 1-5!

Not really, what happens at 15 weeks anyway? 

According to Baby Center, the baby is swallowing and moving its limbs. It is also sensitive to light and can move away from it if shined at the belly.

I'm still not showing, but that's neither here nor there.

I went to see a friend today and got to talking about all the things that are going to change once the baby comes.

To be fair, she's a bit negative about it, or I'm far too optimistic.

She was going on about how I've no clue what's in store and all the things I promise to do now I might as well throw to the wind.

I get that. It makes sense, you know.

It's like when you're young and you say things like I'm gonna be an astronaut or a rock star.

While those things aren't IMpossible, they're quite unlikely. 

It's the same with expecting parents, innit?

You say all this grandiose shit that you hope to do with your kids someday not realizing how completely insane life is going to be and how many curve balls will be thrown your way.

I suppose we only feel differently about it because we're adults and surely we should know our own limits.

But alas, we have no clue as everyone around us keep reiterating. 

So I've come to the conclusion that I just want to make sure that I'm a parent who has a sympathetic ear. That I give my child respect when they're speaking to me and I listen without feeling like I need a defensive response.

She shot that down rather quickly.

"See you won't be sympathetic, because that's not what you had growing up. Then you'll blame yourself for it because you know better and you know that's not what you had in mind. Then a thousand things will be going on and your child will come over to you and say 'mummy' and you'll shout 'WHAT?' and they'll say something like 'I just wanted to say I love you' and then you'll feel even more shyte and you'll start apologizing then your kid will bank that memory and use it against you in the future and the cycle will continue."

Yip. 

I'm totally f***ed.

xo Jenea

- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.