Perfect Parent Disillusion #1
Tonight, over my chicken-bacon risotto, my husband started talking about some of the complexities of his job.
It happens that in music, lots of students (and more likely their parents) will choose to study the piano. This typically presents a very challenging situation for music teachers because it doesn't make much sense for more than two piano players to be in any one ensemble.
To circumvent this mess, the teachers generally encourage mediocre piano students to become part of the choir or to learn an instrument the ensemble desperately needs (usually violins, flutes, etc).
I asked my husband what the parents normally think of this, considering they'll have spent a good amount of time and money getting their child's skills to a level that's even decent.
He said most parents didn't seem to mind, just as long as their kids were happy and participating in something musical.
He then went on a kind of rant about how learning the piano isn't ideal because it always puts the kid in a situation like the one I mentioned above.
I thought for a moment, swallowed a mouthful of my dinner and asked, "What if our kid decides they want to play the piano?"
What I had expected to hear was something along the lines of "I don't mind what they choose as long as they're learning an instrument."
We've had several conversations about this before. He and I both believe our children should be involved in music until they're in their teens and can say without a doubt that they hate it.
What I got instead was "Oh well they'll be learning two instruments."
I dunno why this wound me up so much, but it did.
One thing I don't want to be is a tyrant about the activities my children should be involved in.
Yes, kids should be exposed to a plethora of things so they can really get a taste for what's out there. That is if the family has time for and can afford it.
My husband and I are very musical - he more than I. So naturally we want our kids to share that same interest.
What I don't want to do, however, is push my agenda on them so much that they actually recoil at the idea of anything musical because it's been shoved down their throats so much.
Obviously, each household will have a natural bias toward something or another. Maybe it's music, outdoor activities or reading books. I get that.
But that doesn't mean that I want to impose more of my natural bias on them because I think it'd be great if they were into the same things I'm into. No.
I want my children to follow their own heart and own passions. And they can't do that if they're constantly worried about disappointing mom and dad because they're no good at the thing mom and dad really want them to be good at.
After a heated back and forth discussion, my husband noted he meant that our kid would study two instruments if they were "naturally gifted with musical abilities." If they suck, they'll only be forced to learn one instrument.
Okay. . . I can accept that. . . for now.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
It happens that in music, lots of students (and more likely their parents) will choose to study the piano. This typically presents a very challenging situation for music teachers because it doesn't make much sense for more than two piano players to be in any one ensemble.
To circumvent this mess, the teachers generally encourage mediocre piano students to become part of the choir or to learn an instrument the ensemble desperately needs (usually violins, flutes, etc).
I asked my husband what the parents normally think of this, considering they'll have spent a good amount of time and money getting their child's skills to a level that's even decent.
He said most parents didn't seem to mind, just as long as their kids were happy and participating in something musical.
He then went on a kind of rant about how learning the piano isn't ideal because it always puts the kid in a situation like the one I mentioned above.
I thought for a moment, swallowed a mouthful of my dinner and asked, "What if our kid decides they want to play the piano?"
What I had expected to hear was something along the lines of "I don't mind what they choose as long as they're learning an instrument."
We've had several conversations about this before. He and I both believe our children should be involved in music until they're in their teens and can say without a doubt that they hate it.
What I got instead was "Oh well they'll be learning two instruments."
I dunno why this wound me up so much, but it did.
One thing I don't want to be is a tyrant about the activities my children should be involved in.
Yes, kids should be exposed to a plethora of things so they can really get a taste for what's out there. That is if the family has time for and can afford it.
My husband and I are very musical - he more than I. So naturally we want our kids to share that same interest.
What I don't want to do, however, is push my agenda on them so much that they actually recoil at the idea of anything musical because it's been shoved down their throats so much.
Obviously, each household will have a natural bias toward something or another. Maybe it's music, outdoor activities or reading books. I get that.
But that doesn't mean that I want to impose more of my natural bias on them because I think it'd be great if they were into the same things I'm into. No.
I want my children to follow their own heart and own passions. And they can't do that if they're constantly worried about disappointing mom and dad because they're no good at the thing mom and dad really want them to be good at.
After a heated back and forth discussion, my husband noted he meant that our kid would study two instruments if they were "naturally gifted with musical abilities." If they suck, they'll only be forced to learn one instrument.
Okay. . . I can accept that. . . for now.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
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