Perfect Parent Disillusion #2
When do you start saying things like "My kid will NEVER get away with that!"?
I feel like I've been saying it for at least a decade now, but I can't be sure.
These vacuous statements came with more arrogance the older and "wiser" I got.
"There's NO WAY a friggin 4-year-old is incapable of being told 'no' without throwing a tantrum. NO WAY!"
I find myself being ridiculously judgemental of the people around me - including family and friends.
"Why are you letting her DO that?" I secretly wonder as I try to hide my irritability.
Then I start playing hypothetical situations starring my own children in the same role - where I'm some sort of heroic mum who not only gets the point across that I don't play that shit, but that my child somehow respects what I say.
PFFFFF.
I know this is all horse shit, but still - like a bad fairytale - I buy into the romanticism of it all.
After all, if a child behaves badly it's all the parent's fault, right? I mean how can you not control your toddler? Who's the adult in this situation anyway?
Sure, there are some children who need parents who aren't trying to be their friend, but I'm sure I'm unbelievably naive to the complexities of parenthood - especially when it comes to training another human how to behave properly.
I grew up in a no-nonsense household. From as far back as I can remember, I was terrified of my mom.
I wouldn't dare say or do anything that she would even remotely consider as rude or inappropriate.
I'm not saying this is the best way to raise your child, in fact, I believe it's why we weren'tvery close, but your children need to respect what you have asked them to do, right?
A neighbor came by last week with her 4-year-old daughter. She came into our flat, played with the cat we adopted from them and went over to my husband's very expensive drum kit.
She picked up the drumsticks and started bashing on the snare. Not only did this pause all conversation, but I turned to her and said "be very careful. This is very expensive."
Immediately following my statement her mum tells her "That's not yours, and you've not asked to play it. So I want you to get away from there."
The little girl looks at her mum, sticks out her tongue and commences to bash even harder on the snare.
At this point, the mum has to walk over to her, snatch the drum sticks out of her hands, and yank her back to our conversation at which point she starts to say she wants their cat back.
Her mum says that they can't take the cat back and she starts to cry - wail really.
Again, in my hero-mom replay of that situation, I would've made my daughter apologize to my neighbors and we'd have gone home where I would've punished her for what she did (take away a toy, no pudding, etc) because this girl clearly likes to tow the line and see how far she can push. With that kind of attitude, it's important to show her she can't push very far.
At least that's all the shit I say in my very ignorant head.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
I feel like I've been saying it for at least a decade now, but I can't be sure.
These vacuous statements came with more arrogance the older and "wiser" I got.
"There's NO WAY a friggin 4-year-old is incapable of being told 'no' without throwing a tantrum. NO WAY!"
I find myself being ridiculously judgemental of the people around me - including family and friends.
"Why are you letting her DO that?" I secretly wonder as I try to hide my irritability.
Then I start playing hypothetical situations starring my own children in the same role - where I'm some sort of heroic mum who not only gets the point across that I don't play that shit, but that my child somehow respects what I say.
PFFFFF.
I know this is all horse shit, but still - like a bad fairytale - I buy into the romanticism of it all.
After all, if a child behaves badly it's all the parent's fault, right? I mean how can you not control your toddler? Who's the adult in this situation anyway?
Sure, there are some children who need parents who aren't trying to be their friend, but I'm sure I'm unbelievably naive to the complexities of parenthood - especially when it comes to training another human how to behave properly.
I grew up in a no-nonsense household. From as far back as I can remember, I was terrified of my mom.
I wouldn't dare say or do anything that she would even remotely consider as rude or inappropriate.
I'm not saying this is the best way to raise your child, in fact, I believe it's why we weren'tvery close, but your children need to respect what you have asked them to do, right?
A neighbor came by last week with her 4-year-old daughter. She came into our flat, played with the cat we adopted from them and went over to my husband's very expensive drum kit.
She picked up the drumsticks and started bashing on the snare. Not only did this pause all conversation, but I turned to her and said "be very careful. This is very expensive."
Immediately following my statement her mum tells her "That's not yours, and you've not asked to play it. So I want you to get away from there."
The little girl looks at her mum, sticks out her tongue and commences to bash even harder on the snare.
At this point, the mum has to walk over to her, snatch the drum sticks out of her hands, and yank her back to our conversation at which point she starts to say she wants their cat back.
Her mum says that they can't take the cat back and she starts to cry - wail really.
Again, in my hero-mom replay of that situation, I would've made my daughter apologize to my neighbors and we'd have gone home where I would've punished her for what she did (take away a toy, no pudding, etc) because this girl clearly likes to tow the line and see how far she can push. With that kind of attitude, it's important to show her she can't push very far.
At least that's all the shit I say in my very ignorant head.
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
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