Daddy Issues
I'm so disappointed in my father.
He's 72 years old and I've seen him less than five times since I was, I dunno, a teenager.
Our relationship has been strained since I was a child. He left (or was kicked out) by my second birthday. I've been told that he was a difficult person to be with.
From what I can remember about our encounters, I can agree. His first wife (not my mom, but a woman he married after my mom) was a nice woman. Her name was Maria and they were together for over 20 years. She died a few years ago from complications related to cancer. She was barely in her 50s.
I remember the way he would talk to her. So dismissive and often condescending. They frequently found themselves short on cash and her parents would bail them out. Suffice to say, they did NOT like him. They were Portuguese immigrants who worked hard for the things they had and couldn't understand why this American man couldn't do the same.
Besides the way he treated Maria, he also treated my sister and I pretty shitty. He wouldn't call on birthdays or Christmas - never mind sending a gift. He never congratulated our big accomplishments like graduations, getting married or even now, having a child. He's just always been so self-absorbed.
And I hate it. I hate his attitude that it's everyone else's fault and life has handed him the short end of the stick.
He has a new wife now and an 18-month old son. Imagine that! My sister has a 6-month old and I'm having a baby soon, and there's my dad - 72 with a 35-year-old wife and young son both of whom he STILL cannot manage to take care of.
Can you believe he still hasn't figured out life? SEVEN bloody decades on this planet and this man still doesn't get it.
And the sad thing is I get anxious wondering if I've taken on those characteristics. Am I doomed to struggle with money? Can I take care of my family? Will I be there, emotionally, for my children?
There's nothing worse than a child who doesn't respect its parent. And I have no respect left to give. Like zero.
But am I doomed to repeat this cycle?
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
He's 72 years old and I've seen him less than five times since I was, I dunno, a teenager.
Our relationship has been strained since I was a child. He left (or was kicked out) by my second birthday. I've been told that he was a difficult person to be with.
From what I can remember about our encounters, I can agree. His first wife (not my mom, but a woman he married after my mom) was a nice woman. Her name was Maria and they were together for over 20 years. She died a few years ago from complications related to cancer. She was barely in her 50s.
I remember the way he would talk to her. So dismissive and often condescending. They frequently found themselves short on cash and her parents would bail them out. Suffice to say, they did NOT like him. They were Portuguese immigrants who worked hard for the things they had and couldn't understand why this American man couldn't do the same.
Besides the way he treated Maria, he also treated my sister and I pretty shitty. He wouldn't call on birthdays or Christmas - never mind sending a gift. He never congratulated our big accomplishments like graduations, getting married or even now, having a child. He's just always been so self-absorbed.
And I hate it. I hate his attitude that it's everyone else's fault and life has handed him the short end of the stick.
He has a new wife now and an 18-month old son. Imagine that! My sister has a 6-month old and I'm having a baby soon, and there's my dad - 72 with a 35-year-old wife and young son both of whom he STILL cannot manage to take care of.
Can you believe he still hasn't figured out life? SEVEN bloody decades on this planet and this man still doesn't get it.
And the sad thing is I get anxious wondering if I've taken on those characteristics. Am I doomed to struggle with money? Can I take care of my family? Will I be there, emotionally, for my children?
There's nothing worse than a child who doesn't respect its parent. And I have no respect left to give. Like zero.
But am I doomed to repeat this cycle?
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
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