Expectations No Longer Hypothetical
Tonight, over dinner, my husband and I struck up a conversation that we've had plenty of times in the past as a hypothetical.
We talked about our expectations of ourselves and each other, once this baby comes.
In the past, we'd normally gloat about how awesome we're gonna be and how accommodating we'll make sure we are and blah blah *insert smug idea here* blah.
But tonight was - shall I say - hilariously different.
My husband literally said "I feel like I might have a total breakdown once this baby comes. Like I won't know what I'm doing and you'll get mad at me for not catching on faster and the whole thing will just be a mess."
To be fair, a lot of moms have said that this is a thing. That when the baby comes, for a long time the husband just doesn't get it. And the women end up spending more time explaining how to do something until they realize that just doing it themselves would save a ton of time and arguments.
Of course at the moment I feel very indignant about that whole scenario. Like, I'll be damned if my husband gets to play dumb while I have to do everything for the baby. Nah.
But when faced with such a dilemma, when one is already exhausted, would you really have it in you to get him on board with just doing shit properly? Who knows.
I'm a stickler for things being fair. If I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick, I usually have all the energy in me to right that wrong. But throw a new baby into the mix and I have no clue what I will and will not put up with.
But the situation bothers me to say the least. My husband isn't that kind of person, and to think he may turn into a guy that just does things badly so that I'll give in and take over really pisses me off. I can say with some degree of certainty that I'd lose respect in him if he did.
How the hell can you bring a child into the world and not at least try doing your best for it? No one's gonna be perfect, but geeze, you can't even learn to change a diaper properly for the sake of your baby not getting a rash, or shitting all over everything? I don't respect that one bit.
And let's be honest here. If a woman did the same, we wouldn't respect her either. This whole idea that women are more nurturing does NOT give men the right to be shit. Nuh uh.
So I wonder if the next time I hear a story like that, were I to ask the woman if her partner would be fine if she were to take the same attitude, would she say yes?
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
We talked about our expectations of ourselves and each other, once this baby comes.
In the past, we'd normally gloat about how awesome we're gonna be and how accommodating we'll make sure we are and blah blah *insert smug idea here* blah.
But tonight was - shall I say - hilariously different.
My husband literally said "I feel like I might have a total breakdown once this baby comes. Like I won't know what I'm doing and you'll get mad at me for not catching on faster and the whole thing will just be a mess."
To be fair, a lot of moms have said that this is a thing. That when the baby comes, for a long time the husband just doesn't get it. And the women end up spending more time explaining how to do something until they realize that just doing it themselves would save a ton of time and arguments.
Of course at the moment I feel very indignant about that whole scenario. Like, I'll be damned if my husband gets to play dumb while I have to do everything for the baby. Nah.
But when faced with such a dilemma, when one is already exhausted, would you really have it in you to get him on board with just doing shit properly? Who knows.
I'm a stickler for things being fair. If I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick, I usually have all the energy in me to right that wrong. But throw a new baby into the mix and I have no clue what I will and will not put up with.
But the situation bothers me to say the least. My husband isn't that kind of person, and to think he may turn into a guy that just does things badly so that I'll give in and take over really pisses me off. I can say with some degree of certainty that I'd lose respect in him if he did.
How the hell can you bring a child into the world and not at least try doing your best for it? No one's gonna be perfect, but geeze, you can't even learn to change a diaper properly for the sake of your baby not getting a rash, or shitting all over everything? I don't respect that one bit.
And let's be honest here. If a woman did the same, we wouldn't respect her either. This whole idea that women are more nurturing does NOT give men the right to be shit. Nuh uh.
So I wonder if the next time I hear a story like that, were I to ask the woman if her partner would be fine if she were to take the same attitude, would she say yes?
xo Jenea
- Everything is always okay in the end; and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Comments
Post a Comment